When he packs his bag and heads towards the airport.

When he decides to stay strong and wipes his tears.

When he is somewhere high in the sky and all that comes to him is his timeline since childhood.

When he reaches his destination with new hope to grow as a person.

When he starts to acclimatize and gets the hang of things.

When he meets new people and new cultures.

When he shares his own culture with the new people.

When he is busy buying a new car and furniture for his new house.

When he starts to hang out and thinks that everything is going well.

When he faces his first problem but has no right to speak because he is not a citizen.

When he starts to notice that not everything is going well.

When he feels his house is not a home.

When he feels that he is just the number written on his residency permit.

When he starts to miss the loved ones he left behind.

When he feels lonely even when surrounded by company.

When he falls in love with his smart phone because it’s the only way to connect with his family and friends.

When he wants to hold his woman in his arms.

When he wants to give all his loved ones a hug but ends up hugging air.

When he starts to count the special occasions he has already missed out on.

When he sees his first gray hair and panics.

When he panics because he is growing old in the wrong place.

When he comes back to Lebanon for a short vacation.

When his mother asks him what he wants to eat for lunch.

When he feels that he is not just a number.

When for the first time in a while, he feels that there are people in this world that actually care about him.

When his compatriots consider him a bag full of money and try to rip him off.

When he still enjoys every moment he spends there despite of that.

When he goes over the top every time he meets one of his good old friends.

When he notices that he has been missing out on so much.

When he doesn’t want to go back to being an expatriate again but does.

When after some time he is blessed with a child and leaves it behind a few days following its birth.

When his child utters its first words and he isn’t there to see.

When he has had enough and can’t take it any longer.

When all of this accumulates and he goes through a depression.

When the sleepless nights become the rule, not the exception.

When he feels that a sword is dissecting his heart.

When he starts to bleed endlessly.

When his soul departs his body.

When he dies every time he wakes up.

When the Lebanese expatriate cries a river until he comes back home.

By : Vanig Bostanian